Feelings: Avoidance

Welcome to Feelings, a semi-regular gallery of popular culture GIFs, dedicated to a specific emotion. This week we have avoidance.

Yep.

Yep.

No thank you.

No thank you.

Go away.

Go away.

Avoiding places, people, or things is very tempting.

Avoidant behaviour can vary from putting off inconvenient or uncomfortable tasks, to arranging our entire lives to exclude the things that scare us. In the short-term, avoiding can feel really good. There's a certain relief and security in knowing we can opt out anxiety provoking situations, and there are times when it's absolutely ok and good to do this. Over time though, avoiding as a coping mechanism tends to reinforce the original memory or thought causing the anxiety (as is the case with specific phobiasPTSDComplex PTSD, and other anxiety disorders). When our thought pattern or experience of a thing is limited to 'BAD', there is little opportunity to introduce the ideas of 'SAFE', or 'OK, I GUESS'. Our brains can be very good at hiding things from us; we can be so skilled at avoiding that we become unaware of our fears. This makes what we're avoiding even more confronting when we're suddenly presented with a situation we cannot avoid. 

Avoidance is also common among people with perfectionist tendencies.  Although we tend to associate perfectionism with productivity and high levels of achievement, people with perfectionist tendencies have unrealistic and unrelenting standards, which make the possibility of 'failure' (completing a task imperfectly), too frightening to engage with. 

If you're feeling avoidant, it can be helpful to work backwards by asking why; sometimes things are not about what we think they're about. If we can't make sense of our fears, talking to friends and seeking professional help are good ideas.

For a little loving encouragement, here is Facebook sensation Birb (a birb), reflecting on procrastination as avoidant behaviour. As Birb gently says, 'you can only do a win if you do a try'. 

Links

Find A Psychologist findapsychologist.org.au

See also - Feelings: RageFeelings: Entitlement; Feelings: Love (Is Love); Feelings: Numbness

If you need support, please call Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636). If living outside of Australia, please seek out services in your country.


Feelings: Love (is Love)

Welcome to Feelings, a semi-regular gallery of popular culture GIFs, dedicated to a specific emotion. This week we have Love. 

In the aftermath of the hate crimes committed at Pulse in Orlando against LGBTQI people (particularly Latinx people), many of us feel hopeless. Some of us feel unsafe. There is a lot to hurt over. Suicide rates for LGBTQI youth remain high (particularly for trans people of colour), and in Australia our Safe Schools education program has faced heavy criticism for telling kids that it’s ok to be who they are.  

This post exists as a small act of rebellion and support.

Below you will find GIFs of LGBTQ characters being themselves, being in love, being friends, having fun, finding comfort. Only nice things.

 

helloheadesk@gmail.com

 

Links

Find A Psychologist findapsychologist.org.au

QLife, Australia’s first nationally-oriented counselling and referral service for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, and/or intersex. 

Pulse Tragedy Community Fund Go Fund Me Campaign 

11 small ways to feel less helpless this week, from a trained therapist by Annie Wright

What Queer Latinos Are Saying About The Orlando Shooting by Ericka Cruz Guevarra

Dear White, Hetero, Cis People: Please Don't Co-Opt This Tragedy by Mariella Mosthof

See also - Feelings: Rage, Feelings: Entitlement, Feelings: Avoidance; Feelings: Numbness

If you need support, please call Lifeline (13 11 14) or Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636). If living outside of Australia, please seek out services in your country.